Feeling stuck and confused at life’s crossroads is a common experience, whether in career, love, or health. Regardless of age, from our twenties to forties, we often turn to social media for solutions or comfort. Influencers and gurus typically promote positive thinking, high vibrations, and easy lives.
But if positivity is the key to a happy and fulfilled life, why do so many people suffer from anxiety, anger, depression, and constant stress?
How can positivity become toxic?
Emotional vampires are toxic due to their negativity. Well-intentioned advice to “think positive,” “smile, you’ll feel better,” or “be grateful” may not always be the best guidance.
What distinguishes healthy positivity from toxic positivity are the consequences. It’s crucial to recognize toxic positivity on social media, and in the next paragraph, we’ll explore its repercussions.
Toxic positivity on social media
“Smile. Be Happy.” The pressure to be happy and grateful in moments of job loss, accidents, or breakups can negatively impact our mental health. Such content on social media and advice from well-intentioned individuals may not be the best guidance in such moments.
“Everything happens for my greater good.” While this statement may provide instant satisfaction, the reality is that nobody knows what tomorrow holds, and life isn’t always fair. Is this instant gratification realistic or naive?
“Good vibes. Good life.” Influencers create an illusion of perfect families, happy marriages, and luxurious travels by editing out the negative and realistic aspects of life.
Consequences of toxic positivity on emotional (im)maturity
Of course, we don’t want to complain on social media or share all our pain and problems with everyone. However, toxic positivity subconsciously affects our emotional maturity if we’re not aware of its influence.
Suppressing emotions due to the pressure to always be happy can lead to emotional tension, and negative emotions may not be processed healthily but rather masked with positivity. Anger and sadness may surface unexpectedly, leading to mood swings.
Avoiding the real problem. While focusing on the positive aspects can solve some problems, not all issues can be addressed this way. Expressing gratitude for a narcissistic person’s health won’t change their behavior. A boyfriend won’t bring happiness if you’re unhappy and depressed. Maintaining a high vibration won’t get you a salary raise if you have issues with spending money.
Setting unrealistic expectations for oneself and life. Consuming edited content on social media creates an illusion of ease and masks the reality of life. Comparing ourselves to others leads to desires for what others have. Seeing someone of our age achieving milestones can make us feel inadequate and insecure.
Others’ desires and unrealistic expectations make us nervous and depressed when the New Year’s lights go out and the fireworks end.
Positivity is good, but it must be realistic.
There are days to be grateful.
There are days to be realistic.
We want what others have if we don’t know ourselves.
Self-awareness, self-knowledge, and setting goals in line with oneself are mirrors of a person’s maturity.
For emotional maturity, it’s necessary to
hear and understand oneself.
Not just be positive.
Be realistic.
Openly talk with someone you trust—your mother, sister, or friend.
If you don’t have someone who can dedicate time to you, seek a professional psychotherapist
or coach who suits you.
Listen to yourself, understand yourself, and set
realistic goals for 2024.
References:
- Lomas, T. (2016). The Positive Power of Negative Emotions. Public Library of Science ONE, 11(11), e0166321.
- Frawley, T., & McHugh, L. (2019). When ‘Good Vibes Only’ isn’t good: The sociocultural and psychological implications of toxic positivity on social media. Social Inquiry into Well-Being, 5(1), 34-44.
- Goodman, W. (2020). Toxic Positivity: Keeping It Real in a World Obsessed with Being Happy.